Is the mind really the forerunner of all actions or does the heart have a say in what we do?

It’s midnight here, and supposedly I’m focused on finishing my term paper on micro econ with supply and demand in the United States Of AMERICA, but here i am trying to get my mind in focus!

How ironic right????

However, intended or not i end up pondering away on memories of yesterday, and the days before and the years and one thought leading to another…

Where is this story really headed? I have no clue,but as the years pass by i see myself growing…

Growing out of my LALA land where “There is a will, there is a way, worrying does nothing… go with the flow”

My perspective on the world has drastically changed and i find myself believing either heavily on the right side or the left side but cannot tame myself to the center when i want to be.

The right is pulling me towards the things i want out of life, picking a date, driving my car, skipping town and going on an adventure to find stories,,, stories that are hidden on the other side of the book, the side that no one reads or hears about… the stories that are after the happy ending “the ends”. Finding pleasure in hearing the stories, writing them, sharing them then maybe some day even producing documentaries for the well beings.

On the other hand, comes my left side, pulling me towards everything that i do not want to attempt to do yet must do for the well being of the “life” that i have created with others and yes, here comes the responsibilities! The left gives me happiness in seeing the good things done to the close ones, yet find myself troubled with the questions of what if, only if, wouldn’t it be nice if.!!! Would one be labeled selfish if one were to risk a happiness of another to satisfy oneself? ‘if so… to what extent does it drag towards. And indeed the saying ” Strength is being able to slip away and smile” true?

Though planning ahead to find a balance in between the left and right sounds good, the time needed for this venture sounds awfully hard. One thing i do know, Timing is everything and my hopeful heart believes my time will come!

I watched the movie “Seven years in Tibet” after a very long time and started crying.. started feeling guilty for about my life and what hardships others had to carry for me to be here and i wondered.. What is the difference between those in Tibet and me? It was just a chance of opportunity… How can i repay that deed?

Would i be the same person i am if i was living in Tibet? Would i even be questioning at all?

The slow years of high-school i miss dearly… My child hood in the fields for Nepal i miss dearly… my rainy boy days in 3rd grade India i miss so dearly, my talks on Tibet with pala i miss so dearly….

If there is a solution… we will find it… no point in worrying about it.